One of my biggest fears in having children, was my inability to make eye contact in a normal way. THis may sound silly, considering all the dangers in our world, but think about it. Eye contact is a very important part of our socialization, culture, and human connection. We trust people who make eye contact. We bond with people with whom we make eye contact. We learn how to make appropriate and meaningful contact from our caretakers as children.
When our son was born, it weenier like everything was going to be fine. He and I bonded well. And even now he makes great eye contact, at least from what my husband says. And he is securely attached to both my husband and me.
So what went wrong? I was holding our daughter and staring at her. When I look in her eyes, it kind of looks like I’m making eye contact with her forehead. I was close enough to see that her eyes were looking up and appeared like they were mimicking what my eyes must have looked like. In that moment my heart broke. All of my fears came flooding back, with a few more thrown in for good measure. The number one being, did I ruin my son and is it too late for my daughter? As the primary caregiver for our children, they see my body language and social cues the most. So what do I do?
I asked my mom to make sure to make eye contact with the little girly. I figure, she will be getting eye contact with another female. I hope it will be enough. But if it isn’t, if you see my kids in the world and they have problems making ye contact, please cut them some slack. It’s not their fault.
P.S. I realize it’s Tuesday, but at least my tardiness proves im a mom of a 2 yr old and 3 mo old.